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Monday, January 24, 2011

My way of dealing with drivers with road rage

I love to drive.  I love to drive fast.  I am a stay at home mom, so I can choose to do my driving before and after rush hour most of the time.  I am lucky in that way. 

Because I can drive at optimal times and when I am in the car, my kids are usually strapped down, some of my most peaceful moments come during driving.  I can think, listen to Ke$ha, no one is asking me to make them food, wipe their ass, or get them a toy (most of the time). 

So this afternoon I was driving home from Frasier after a wonderful visit at Oasis Living Cuisine (best raw vegan/vegetarian restaurant in the area bar none!) and had a belly full of delicious mint chocolate.  So I'm driving with my nice chocolate buzz while listening to Lilah sing some Katy Perry tunes.  I pull up to a four way stop at the same time as another woman.  She frantically is waving me on like her arm is on fire and she is clearly pissed off.  Why?  I have no idea.  Just in a hurry to get to Kohls I guess.  So I proceeded to do my favorite road rage move. 

Wait for it...you are going to love this. 

I blow people kisses.  I started doing this about 5 years ago when giving the finger became a poor option because of my precious cargo.  It is freaking hysterical.  The road rage drivers really don't know whether to shit or go blind.  Especially now that I have gender bending hair, people are absolutely befuddled.  They aren't sure if I'm a man or a woman and why the hell I am blowing them kisses???  Best move ever. And instead of spending the rest of the day cranky and pissed that the lady was so rude, I am laughing my ass off thinking about her face when an unidentified she-man blew her a kiss!

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