After my meat "bender" this past week/weekend, I was lucky enough to do some serious friend psychotherapy with Nate and one of my best girlfriends, Lisa. These two are the wind beneath my wings, the sane in my insane, and the two people who always seem to get me at my worst and manage to bring out my best. I am so thankful for my dream team!
So here is my assessment: First, I had raging PMS (I'm not sure if that was clear from my lame negative self-talk) and my psychotic break took place on an empty stomach after a hardcore Crossfit workout. Second, I have been very stressed out over the past couple of months with trying to maintain this lifestyle, school, life, etc and may have just needed to feel like a rebel. Third, there was something I needed to learn.
I am not perfect (clearly), nor do I need to be. I get wrapped up in rules and thinking if I am not perfect, I am going to disappoint everyone -especially you, my lovely blog readers! That type of mentality is not serving me. In fact, it is stressing me out and needs to get chucked. Eating, food prep, and grocery shopping has also become WAY too hard. I have to keep it simple!!! Complicated recipes do not work for a lady who is as on the go as I am. Also, the way I was eating was not working. Too much fruit and not enough raw protein is a recipe for disaster that leads me to sugar crashing and steak seeking behaviors.
I also needed to remind myself why I am trying to live a raw vegan lifestyle in the first place. I am doing this for my health and the health of our environment. My heath being top dog. My husband and my friend both pointed out that stressing out and getting upset is going to counteract every last healthy, raw morsel I put into my body. So now, as I move forward, once again- I have some gentle reminders for myself and maybe they will help you guys too.
Sometimes I am going to have a meat bender. Or drink too many cocktails. Or cuss too much. Or put my foot in my mouth. And I'm okay with that because even if I am a repeat offender, (which I TOTALLY am) I learn something new about myself every time and I'm pretty sure that is the point.