Welcome to Optimal Health Mama

Thanks for cruising by and becoming part of my personal revolution of self-love, health, and hilarity!

Monday, February 10, 2014

Jane and Kelly Do a Cleanse

As one of my best girlfriends and I were drinking copious amounts of wine the other night, somehow the topic of a cleanse came up.  Kelly, who is a yoga loving, artsy beauty busted out the Gweneth Paltrow cleanse book.  I may or may not have vomited all over her beautiful granite counter tops.

We decided to do a modified Paleo/Gweneth approach to cleansing.  Here are the rules of the game, as many of you are already blowing up facebook wondering how this shit is going to go down.

The "no" list:

*no smoking
*no alcohol
*no sugar of any kind (honey, agave, coconut sugar included)
*no wheat/gluten
*no soy
*no corn or potatoes
*no coffee

The "fuck yeah" list

*quinoa and brown rice
*plain greek yogurt and grass fed butter
*water and kombucha tea (you bet your sweet ass I wasn't giving that up)

In addition to this, I am working on a mental cleanse.  I am all about that self-improvement shit, so I am doing daily journaling in order to better process emotional experiences.   I am also going to do more meditation and am planning to drag Kelly along for the ride.  She will totally love it.  And obviously, I will keep up my Crossfit training during the cleanse.  I want to chill on the restaurant food, chips, and fries.  My goal is to merge the great parts of my vegan days with the great parts of my meat eating present to find the ultimate super fucking healthy eating fucking way of life.

Kelly is going to work on taking time to do yoga, tap into her mystical self, and wants to feel more clear headed.  She is also trying to incorporate more green smoothies into her daily regime.  She started doing this a few weeks ago and is already seeing noticeable changes in her immune system and energy level.

I made a bitching smoothie this morning that I wanted to share with you guys:

1 cup water
1 cup coconut water
2 bananas
2 carrots
1 green apple
2 cups of spinach
1 inch piece of ginger
juice from 1 lemon

It was really yummy and filling.  I split this between the girls and I this morning.  Lunch was some of the leftover Indian food I made last night.  Thankfully it was cleanse friendly.  I am really excited to see how things go with this for both of us. If you guys want to participate, please do!!!  A lot of you showed interest in doing this via facebook comments and I am happy to provide support for you guys through the process.

Happy cleansing mother fuckers!!!!!!



  1. DUDE you are awesome. good luck with this! Danielle and I are doing a no sugar thing for 3 months. We'll see how that goes

  2. DUDE!!! YOU Are awesome!!! So excited you girls are on board!!! You totally have this! xoxoxo