The Challenge

So I am wondering about your reactions to the challenge.

A lot of you checked in with me on not weighing yourselves.  One of my fabulous friends turned her head at the doctor's office and told the nurse she was not allowed to tell her the number.  That is serious commitment to loving yourself!!!!!  I wonder what it was like over the past two weeks to not know the number on the scale.  Were you anxious?  Were you liberated?  Were you scared?  

One conversation I had with a woman had to do with feeling so anxious about her weight that she checked the scale multiple times throughout the day.  She isn't alone.  Many women, including myself, have engaged in this type of behavior.  So do not feel like a failure if you stepped on the scale.  You won if you reduced those numbers in any way, shape, or form.  

My next challenge has to do with fat talk.  For those of you who aren't familiar with the concept, fat talk is basically when we talk shit on our own bodies to other women.  It looks like this:

"Ew.  My fucking thighs!"  

"No, stop.  Mine are the worst!"

"Stop, at least you don't have a gut!"

and it goes on.

Not only does this turn us into objects, but we bond over it!  How fucked up is that????  We bond over berating ourselves.  I hope that shocks you in the same way it shocks me.  

So, the next part of the challenge:  NO FUCKING FAT TALK.  And if you hear someone engaging in it, find a kind way to address it and make it stop.  

If you are feeling insecure about your body, that's okay.  We all have those days.  But watch how you verbalize your feelings.  There is a big difference between, 

"I hate my body, I am a gross fucking slob."  and "Man, I'm not feeling like myself today.  Can someone tell me how hot I am really quickly."  

There is no shame in asking for a build up from a friend.  Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend.  Would you ever call your friend a "fat fucking slob?"  My guess is no or you are a complete asshole and we need to issue another type of challenge.  

So get out there, stop objectifying yourself, and stop comparing yourself to other people's bodies.  Remember, you are amazingly, fabulously unique and I love the fuck out of each and every one of you.

xoxo

J

The media doesn't give a fuck about you

Today as I was writing my dissertation.  I was writing about the objectification of the female athlete.  this particular statement really smacked me in the face and pissed me off: 

"Research shows that society’s perception of what is the ideal beauty is defined and perpetuated by the media."

Wow.  We let the media define what we believe to be the ideal physique for women.  In addition to this, we internalize this ideal.  When we internalize someone else's view of what we should look like, we start to believe that it is what we want and what we desire.  Their goals become our goals.  That is the most unauthentic shit I have ever heard. 

With the creation of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue in 1997, came the bullshit phenomenon that not only do women need to be thin, but we need to be muscular and fit as well.  And oh yeah, your performance?  No one gives a fuck about that unless you are pretty, feminine, and have big ass tits. Thanks a lot "health" magazines for women who also encourage women to be an amazing cook, smart, funny, great in the sack, a size 2, and muscular to boot.  Thanks creating an unattainable view of what women need to be to please society.  Cool bro. 

I am so fucking tired of this.  Seriously.  The more I read and research, the more angry I get.  And as much as I have focused my energy on researching women, I am starting to see the way men are becoming increasingly objectified as well. 

On what level are we objects?  On what level do our bodies become more important than the spirits inside them?  At what point do we say "fuck this shit" and move toward a culture that values the human spirit and it's accomplishments, not numbers and measurements? 

As part of the challenge, I want you to take a page out of a fashion magazine, a women's "health" magazine, or a sports magazine and rip it to fucking shreds. 

Fuck the media.  I hate you today  you asshole pieces of shit. 
Thanks for indulging my rant. 

xoxo
J

Challenge Day 1: Liberated as Fuck

Hello my liberated friends!
I am so glad you are joining me in the two week ditch the scale/love your body challenge.

As strange as it sounds to simply accept and love ourselves and our bodies, it is really hard!!!  We have been conditioned from a very early age not to do so.  Everything from Barbie dolls to fashion magazines sends us message after message telling us we are not "enough."  Boys see images of He-man and other Super Heroes which set up biased expectations of what is "manly" and "strong."  This is ridiculous.  We are so much more than these limited views of masculinity and femininity.

Well guess what?  Today is your first day of giving a big fat "fuck you" to all of that bullshit.  Societal expectations have been running your life long enough.  It is time to let your inner rebel shine and be brazenly unapologetic about loving yourself.

Assignment:  Pick out one feature of yourself, it can be a physical trait, a personality trait, or whatever that you find to be absolutely irresistible about yourself.  I chose my playfulness.  I love how playful, fun, and flirtatious I am.  And I am loving my new red hair ;0)

You are super fucking amazing sparkly and divine!!!!!

xoxo
J

Two Week Challenge

I am issuing a challenge.  Not a fat loss challenge, or a cleanse, or a paleo/vegan/weight loss challenge.  This is a two week, ditch the scale challenge. This is a two week "love your body" challenge.  

 I want everyone to knock off all of the fat talk, self-shaming, hyper-critical, non-productive body hate. Myself included.  Numbers are bullshit and are no measure of who you are.  The number on the scale or in the inside of your jeans does not measure kindness, intelligence, perseverance, wit, charm, humility, heart...the things that matter.    

Here is the challenge:

For a period of two weeks, starting June 5, 2014

*you will not step on a scale

*you will not engage in any type of negative self-talk

*you will not tolerate negative self-talk from others

*you will speak kindly about your body

*you will not shame yourself or make yourself feel guilty about eating any kind of food

*you will practice self-love and kindness toward yourself and others around you

If you have negative thoughts about your body, you will immediately call yourself out on these thoughts and replace them with the mantra of your choosing.  Some examples of this could be:

I love my body

My body is powerful

My body is strong

My body is creation

Let's take two weeks and focus on what really matters- not our body composition, but the composition of who we are.  

Who's with me???

xoxo

J

Do you quit on the last fucking mile?

No.  You don't.

I am starting my last two years of my six year doctoral program.  You heard me:  SIX.  SIX FUCKING YEARS.

Needless to say, this has been a journey.  A rocky one for me filled with challenges, divorce, and dealing with navigating the most difficult part of my doctoral program as a single mother.  Thankfully, that didn't mean doing it alone.  I have been wise enough to surround myself with people who not only are amazing friends but are inspiring people.  I have been fortunate enough to be blessed with a family who loves and supports the shit out of me.

Over the past 6 months, I hit a wall.  A huge wall.  The emotional, intellectual, and physical toll I was dealing with put me into a hole.  I had no motivation.  Although finally getting my Master's Degree was a good thing, I felt doubt creep into my head for the first time.  I found myself thinking, "Well, I have this Master's, maybe I should quit."  I even said it aloud, joking with friends.  I was afraid.  And I was getting in my own way.

I gave myself a carrot, as I tend to do, and attended a writing conference.  As a result of going to the conference, I would be given the chance propose a book to a publishing company.  BOOM.  I set all the details in motion, and off to Florida I went.  I traveled alone.  I made friends.  I wrote.  I felt unbelievably inspired.  I rediscovered my divine purpose.  I came back like a bat out of hell. I was a liberated woman!

By the next week I felt like a deflated balloon.  Life's responsibilities reared their ugly head and pressures from all over weighed heavy.  So I started practicing some of the beautiful psychological tools I preach because  God knows I am proactive as fuck and am not one to wallow in self-pity ;0)  

1.  I went to therapy.  My God it felt painfully good to cry and vent and heal.  Good stuff.  I am so happy being a therapist is my calling.

2.  I set boundaries.  As much as I love Crossfit, I had to change my priorities.  I had to chill the fuck out on competitions.  I love competitions, but they are weekend killers and financially draining.  So I picked my two favorites to do this summer and had to do something that is very hard for someone with FOMO (fear of missing out) to do.  I started saying, "no."

3.  I indulged my lack of motivation.  Therapists call this, "rolling with resistance."  I hung out with friends. I did what I wanted to do.  I didn't guilt myself into thinking I am a failure because I hit a wall.  I went with it, with the belief that I would fully reengage in the process and start kicking ass again in no time.

4.  I surrounded myself with motivated, healthy, inspirational people.  I spent extra time with the people who push me to be better and the people who bring out the best in me.

5.  I stopped acting like an entitled asshole.  Success does not happen without work.  Lots of fucking work.  Most people aren't gifted with million dollar houses.  They work for them.  You don't get a muscle up by staring at the rings.

I woke up at 4:30 this morning and started to write my dissertation- energized and ready to rock.  Because I don't quit on the last fucking mile baby.

Go crush life.
xoxox
J

Healthy Eating- Day ?

I have no idea what day we are on, but Kelly and I are kicking ass.  I am so proud of how well we are doing.  There have been a couple of bumps in the road- I had a glass of wine when I was out to dinner on Valentine's Day and Kelly had a special sushi dinner where she opted to have a cocktail.  But all and all, no biggie.  Weekends are tough and trying to eat super clean 100% of the time can be demoralizing for social creatures.  This is for incorporating doable, permanent changes into our lives, not being neurotic crazy women who think we "ruined" our stupid ass ":cleanse" if a tortilla chip touches our lips.  

Kelly is crushing it!  No coffee, 1 cocktail, and has been creating beautiful, new delicious recipes like a boss. She is super creative, so I am not surprised to see this coming out in her cooking.  One thing I have been doing is adding more fruits and veggies in my diet.  My energy is sky rocketing.  The girls and I have been drinking fruit/veggie/green smoothies with me every morning and we are really enjoying them. They were resistant at first, but quickly got into the groove.

Kelly is fitting into jeans that have been snug. I lost 1.5% body fat.  I'm not going to complain about that!  And because we haven't been completely psycho, the lifestyle has been pretty easy to maintain.  We have been focusing on how many positive changes we have made and are not getting caught up in the slip ups.  There is no "failure" here.  Just focusing on how good we feel and how fun it is to eat healthy, learn new recipes, and support each other through the process.

Have a super fabulous day!!!
xoxo
J

Healthy Life- Day 3- How working with addicts inspires me

I recently started doing therapy again as part of my doctoral work.  I adore therapy.  I feel so unbelievable lucky to get to connect with people on such a deep and intimate level.  Currently, I am working in an outpatient setting with people who are in recovery from various drug and alcohol addictions.  I have worked in addictions before, and I absolutely love it.

Some people see addicts as a frustrating group to work with, and that can be true if you allow your own ego to get in the way.  I find this applies to all of my interactions with others, not just addicts.  You cannot judge, or force, or plead, or heal someone into being something other than what they are.  And someone should never do that to you.  Things just have to flow and you have to detach yourself from what you believe is in their best interest and let them decide that for themselves.  Even if it hurts to watch and even if it not healthy.  We all have the right to learn, grow, and make mistakes at our own pace.  Support and love are the most important gifts we can give to others, be it therapeutically or in our personal life.

How does this have to do with healthy eating?  Whenever I work with people who are in recovery, I get inspired.  They are getting a fresh start and a chance to work at recovery for the first time, or the 18th.  There is a beauty to the process and an element of rebirth that is really powerful.  When I see some of the patients giving up heroine, alcohol, or cocaine, a little bit of sugar, wine, or coffee seems pretty doable.  It helps me to put struggles into perspective.  It helps me to remember how resilient and strong people can be.  And it inspires me to be better and do better for others.

xoxo
J

Day 2 of Healthy Eating

I decided to change the name of the next 30 days to "healthy eating" instead of "cleanse."

The old saying, it's progress, not perfection applies to permanent lifestyle changes.  Kelly called me this morning and was a little distressed because she put capers on her salad and they have vinegar in them and aren't on the cleanse.  Okay.  NO.  This is not the direction we are going here.  We are not turning our lives into psychotic, neurotic, rule dominated, no fun cleansing.  We are trying to make permanent, healthy changes that will stick with us over the long haul.  It's about finding a healthy balance with food.


My food indulgences have become my norm (fries, chips, wine).  Same goes for Kelly.  So this new way of healthy eating needs to be less about being rigid rule followers and more about celebrating health and gains.  By giving up these major indulgences for 30 days, it's about hitting a reset button and making these things fun again, not daily occurrences.  These 30 days are about being excited to drink yummy smoothies and celebrating that we made it through a day without a cocktail or inhaling a bag of sweet potato chips.  The point is to be excited to feel healthy and strong.

Crossfit Inspire was buzzing about "the cleanse" today, so for many of you who want to join in, please leave your neurosis at the door and work with us on enjoying our beautiful, amazing, healthy bodies.  We aren't trying to raise our stress and cortisol levels by being raging psychos.

So throw some capers on that beautiful salad you just made and celebrate that you did not eat McDonald's!!!!  And if you can't live without coffee, okay, fine.  Do what you need to do.  Kelly's husband Jesse jumped in on the fun with us too and when he was being a little cranky pants, Kelly gently reminded him that he doesn't have to do this.  It's a choice.  I'm gently reminding you the same thing.  How you do this is personal.  It's your choice and you are an adult.  Do what works for you, your lifestyle, and your body.  I love you no matter what ;0)


xoxo
J

Jane and Kelly Do a Cleanse

As one of my best girlfriends and I were drinking copious amounts of wine the other night, somehow the topic of a cleanse came up.  Kelly, who is a yoga loving, artsy beauty busted out the Gweneth Paltrow cleanse book.  I may or may not have vomited all over her beautiful granite counter tops.

We decided to do a modified Paleo/Gweneth approach to cleansing.  Here are the rules of the game, as many of you are already blowing up facebook wondering how this shit is going to go down.

The "no" list:

*no smoking
*no alcohol
*no sugar of any kind (honey, agave, coconut sugar included)
*no wheat/gluten
*no soy
*no corn or potatoes
*no coffee


The "fuck yeah" list

*meat/seafood
*veggies
*fruits/avocados
*nuts/seeds/legumes
*quinoa and brown rice
*plain greek yogurt and grass fed butter
*water and kombucha tea (you bet your sweet ass I wasn't giving that up)


In addition to this, I am working on a mental cleanse.  I am all about that self-improvement shit, so I am doing daily journaling in order to better process emotional experiences.   I am also going to do more meditation and am planning to drag Kelly along for the ride.  She will totally love it.  And obviously, I will keep up my Crossfit training during the cleanse.  I want to chill on the restaurant food, chips, and fries.  My goal is to merge the great parts of my vegan days with the great parts of my meat eating present to find the ultimate super fucking healthy eating fucking way of life.

Kelly is going to work on taking time to do yoga, tap into her mystical self, and wants to feel more clear headed.  She is also trying to incorporate more green smoothies into her daily regime.  She started doing this a few weeks ago and is already seeing noticeable changes in her immune system and energy level.

I made a bitching smoothie this morning that I wanted to share with you guys:

1 cup water
1 cup coconut water
2 bananas
2 carrots
1 green apple
2 cups of spinach
1 inch piece of ginger
juice from 1 lemon

It was really yummy and filling.  I split this between the girls and I this morning.  Lunch was some of the leftover Indian food I made last night.  Thankfully it was cleanse friendly.  I am really excited to see how things go with this for both of us. If you guys want to participate, please do!!!  A lot of you showed interest in doing this via facebook comments and I am happy to provide support for you guys through the process.

Happy cleansing mother fuckers!!!!!!

xoxo
J

Grab Life by the Balls and Twist

My favorite quote that I posted this week is from Andrea Agar.  She said, "Sometimes being uncomfortable is the only way to save yourself from settling."

I love that shit.

Fears give us an excuse to settle and when you settle, you do not grow.  When you don't grow, you don't get the life you want and deserve.  Your life may look successful on the surface, but you know in the deepest depths of your soul that there is more out there for you.  Way more.   

I hate excuses and I hate settling. I am currently working on testing myself and going to physical and emotional places that make me uncomfortable because I want to grow.

For example, today my friend and I went indoor rock climbing.  I am very afraid of heights.  When I do rope climbs in the gym or have climbed plastic rocks before, I never look down.  Never.  Before I even got to the gym today, I told myself:  TODAY IS THE DAY WHEN I LOOK THE FUCK DOWN.  So when I got to the top of the climb, I stopped using my fear of heights as an excuse and I looked down.  I received the gift of experiencing climbing from a different perspective.  It wasn't from the bottom looking up at what I had already accomplished in the afterglow, but from the top looking down, right smack dab in the moment of the experience.  I literally got to enjoy the view from the top.  

So sometimes you have to put yourself out there, be uncomfortable, and stop settling.  We deserve the best and our behaviors and thoughts dictate what that best becomes for us.  Every time you settle or stay in your comfy place, you are saying to yourself subtly, "I can't, I don't deserve better, I'm not willing to take risks because I do not have confidence in myself to overcome obstacles."

Well fuck that noise.  Life is a series of challenges that you can choose to back away from or you can choose to take down.  Challenge yourself because you can handle it.  Don't ever settle.  Be bigger, be better, be stronger than you ever thought you could be.

xoxo
J

When I See People Kicking Ass

There is nothing I love more than to see people kicking ass.  Doing things they never thought they could do.  Breaking boundaries within themselves.  Creating goals and crushing them.  Moving away from the life they do not want and moving towards the life they deserve.  Whether it is in therapy or in the gym, I am surrounded by inspiration.  Inspiration that even on my worst days keeps me seeing the positivity, resilience, and beauty of the human spirit.  So thank you to my grad school friends, my work out buddies, my friends, and my family.  Keep kicking ass.  Because in doing so, you are setting examples for me and all the other people in your life to do the same. 

xoxo
J

Brofriends

I tend to give tons of accolades to my girlfriends. I have neglected to show my appreciation for my Brofriends.  This is my newest term for them.  My best brofriends have become almost as big a part of my social circle as some of my girlfriends.  Brofriends are so awesome because they add a masculine energy to my life that is often much needed.  I can talk to them like I talk to my girlfriends, but they provide me with insight from the Mars side of the coin when I am often thinking in a very Venus way.  Sometimes my Brofriends are able to simplify my overly analytical brain and show me that sometimes things can be simple.  People often say that men and women cannot truly be friends.  I think that is bullshit.

I love my Brofriends!

xoxo
J

Girl! Ya gotta EAT!!!

One of the biggest questions I get at my gym is:  What do you eat? 

Most of the time, I think people expect to hear that I have a very restricted diet with no carbs and no fun.  That is simply not the case. 

I eat whole foods and I eat a lot of them. In the past, I have tried every stupid nutritional plan and diet in the book (I have blogged about many of them).  I finally found balance in eating a whole foods diet and listening to my body.   Now, because of food sensitivities, I do not eat wheat and gluten.  I also do not eat sugar cane.  Those are my only restrictions.  I eat meat, dairy, fruit, vegetables, nuts, seeds, gluten free grains, honey, agave, and french fries.  When I want to eat junk, I eat junk (french fries).  And I drink alcohol.  I'm not usually a Monday through Friday drinker, but I do enjoy a good martini and some wine on weekends (Carb Back Loading). 

When you work out as hard as most Crossfitters, it is vital that you listen to your body and eat when you are hungry.  For most of us, the goal is to put on muscle mass.  In order to put on muscle, you need to lift weights, work out, and you need to eat.  Bottom line.  A lot of people think in order to look "toned" you need to lose weight.  In order to be toned, you need to put on muscle.  In order to put on muscle, you need to eat enough to fuel muscle growth. If the muscle isn't there in the first place, no matter how thin you get, you will not look toned.  Case in point, supermodels.   This is counter intuitive to what most women have been told their entire lives which is to starve themselves and run.  Life doesn't have to be that sucky.  

Now, this isn't a license to hit up the Burger King drive thru every chance you get, but you need sufficient calories to build muscle, to maintain your work outs, and to leave you feeling optimal.  This might mean that you GASP gain a few pounds.  OMG.  NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  But the number on the scale is really not representative of how your body is changing when you gain muscle.  If you HAVE to have a measurement, go by clothes or body measurements.  But when you start squatting, your thighs may grow and your ass might fill out your jeans for the first time in your life.  It's a good thing, ladies.  A very good thing. 

Here are two of my favorite facebook "likes" for great information on eating for athletes and healthy body image.
Eat To Perform
Go Kaleo

It is always a great idea to meet with a nutritionist and go over your blood work, caloric needs, and get general nutrition advice from a pro ;0)

Happy, healthy, eating my loves!!!
xoxo
J

Boundaries

This whole concept of boundaries is really popping up in my life and the lives of my friends right now.  There is so much of a focus on boundaries with others.   What about the boundaries we need to set with ourselves? 

Boundaries aren't always about what others bring to us.  They are often about how we allow the world to interact with us.  What is acceptable, what is not- but really, this is rooted deeply within ourselves. 

How do we allow ourselves to be treated?  How do we speak to ourselves?  What actions do we take that are self-destructive?  How are we inhibiting our own growth?  How do we stomp on our own joy? These are things we need to think about and constantly contemplate and allow to internally evolve.

Case in point.  I am a middle child and a pleaser.  I often give and give and give in my relationships and find myself not getting the same output from others.  It can often frustrate me and I play the blame game.  So initially, what seems like an external boundary issue, is really about me not setting boundaries within myself.   I allow myself to feel pressured into feeling like I need to give more, when in reality, I need to have a little heart to heart with myself and say, "No, you have given enough at this moment.  It is time to receive." 

It's a form of personal responsibility and self-care.  Set healthy boundaries, practice kind self-talk, and see what grows you sexy mutha fuckas!

A big thanks to Ali and Greta Hotmer from Twin Tree Healing for honoring me as their Light Worker of the Week.  It meant so much to me and the fact that all of you read my shit storm writing means a lot to me, too.  Thank you!!!!

xoxo
J

Chaos

Over the past year, my life has undergone many changes.  It has felt like chaos.  Sometimes scary, sometimes exciting, and often an overwhelming combination of the two.  I am moving into a new life for myself and it is a life that is very different from how I thought my life would be. 

I am a bit of a control freak and I like my road map to be crystal clear.  My map could not be more murky and muddy.  Learning how to love the muck is becoming a process I have only begun to embark upon.  When everything has felt so crazy, is difficult to hug spontaneity and give it the big fat kiss it deserves. 

I made plans with friends for the weekend.  Plans I almost cancelled at the last minute because I was not feeling well.  Plans I almost wanted to cancel even if I was feeling well.  Any excuse would have worked.    Instead of stopping myself, I embraced my night.  I threw on clothes and yanked my hair up faster than I could talk myself out of going. 

I found myself enjoying myself on a level I have not enjoyed myself in a long time.  Friends felt like warm blankets, songs hurt my soul and made me cry.  I was vulnerable.  I felt alive and I felt at ease, at ease with the uncertainty of life.  There was comfort in the joy that things are not always going to end up the way I expect, but peace in the understanding that life is unfolding as it should.  I do not have to work so hard to make my life.  It really just happens all around me in the weird cosmic way.  People come in, people come out.  Experiences in, experiences out.  It is exciting to see what tomorrow will bring me when I'm not trying to force my will upon it.   

xoxo
J 

Fuck you shitty mantras!

I'm not sure when you start hearing these messages:  You aren't good enough.  You aren't worth it.

Maybe it is when you are young and you get that first look of disapproval from your parents.  It could be the first time you got a grade in school that wasn't an A+.  That first time someone rejected you or bullied you. When you were first told you weren't smart enough, or pretty enough, or athletic enough, or good enough to deserve the life you want.  These messages stay with us for a long time.  They become ingrained in us and damage us to our core when we do not let go of them.

These shitty  little mantras have become ingrained in me as I am sure they have become ingrained in many of you. As you carry them into adulthood, sometimes they even served us well.  I'm a competitive person, so I'm always on a mission to prove these fuckers wrong.  This can be empowering in some ways, and discouraging in others.  No matter how many doctoral degrees I get under my belt, will I ever feel smart enough?  No matter how many pounds I put on the bar, will I ever feel strong enough?  No matter how many times someone tells me I'm beautiful or that they love me, will I ever really believe them? 

These messages hold me back.  They make things that are not meant to make me feel inadequate, feel that way.  When my coach critiques my form, I hear "You're not good enough," instead of, "Do this, and you will be more efficient."  I notice this in my fellow doctoral students.  Some of us were recently having heart attacks over 92s on our papers.  Yikes.  Some find inadequacy in their jobs and financial statements.  I don't make a six figure salary.  I must not be as good as Joe Schmo who is driving a beamer.  My occupation isn't worthwhile or important. I don't deserve to make money because I love what I do.  They pop up in our relationships with others.  My child is misbehaving, that makes me a bad parent.  My significant other is having a bad day, I must not be doing enough.  When we look at these messages on paper, we realize the ridiculousness of them, however, we still engage in the thoughts.

We are adequate.  We are amazing.  We are what we are meant to be in this moment, learning the lessons we need to be taught.  Anytime one of these "shit mantras" come into your mind, I challenge you to tell it to fuck off. Overcome these voices, because they no longer apply. 

You are more than good enough.  You are totally, 100% worth it.
  
xoxox
J

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
 And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson



xoxo
J

My Two Cents on Miley, Crossfit, and Body Image

So I was chatting with my girls last night and of course the discussion got around to Miley Cyrus.  Now, I was encouraged to write this by Casey- so this blog is for you girlfriend.  My insight may not be loved by all, but I make no apologies for it.  It is important for me to point out discrimination and sexism when I see it- especially when it is put out there by a group that I am a part of.  

I told my girlfriends how unbelievably disappointed I was in some of the responses I saw from different Crossfit pages that had memes saying that Miley needs to squat.  This disappointment almost hit me as hard as the "Turning 7's into 10's" commercial that was played throughout the Crossfit games last year.  This pisses me off so much because Crossfit is supposed to be a community that supports women and women's bodies- no matter what they look like.  It is supposed to be a community that empowers women and focuses them on what they can do, not what they look like and meeting societal standards of beauty. 

Crossfitters are the first people to come to a woman's defense if she is "too muscular" or "manly" but when Miley gets up there in booty shorts without the muscle tone of a weight lifter everyone freaks the fuck out and takes pot shots.  Honestly, it is so anti-feminine and such bullshit.  There are many women who Crossfit, beginners and veterans, who may not have the muscle tone of Talayna Fortunato.  I wonder how less toned, or thinner athletes felt after looking at memes like that and how it made them feel about their bodies.   

And as far as sexism goes, I asked myself why no one from the Crossfit community has posted a meme that Celo Green needs to do sit ups?  Once again, a ridiculous double standard that really wants to keep women focused on what really matters:  Pleasing men.

I thought the Crossfit community was a little bit beyond the objectification of women and making women feel badly about their bodies. And I understand that "it's a joke" made by a few, and is not representative of all the amazingly supportive men and women in the community who do so much to promote healthy body image.  The fact is this needs to be addressed.  It is part of the social responsibility of the group to call this shit out and stop it in its tracks.   Supporting things that make women feel insecure is never on my agenda, or the agenda of most Crossfit men and women.  And Miley- rock those booty shorts all day, because guess what, my ass doesn't look perfect in them either- and I squat.  


xoxo
J

Bulletproof Coffee Inspired Smoothie

A lot of my friends have been drinking bullet proof coffee. Bullet proof coffee is black coffee with either coconut oil or grass fed butter melted into it.  When I first heard of this, I wanted to vomit- mainly thinking about putting butter in coffee, but the people who drink it swear by it.

I'm not a coffee drinker (because I it gives me headaches and I act like a squirrel on cocaine when I drink it), but I love the flavor.  I also think it's a great idea to start your day off with a good fat.  So I came up with this smoothie recipe that gives you the yum of the bullet proof coffee but with some carbs and protein for those of us who eat breakfast and hit early morning work outs. 

4oz Coconut Water
4oz Water
3-4 ice cubes
1 tbsp coconut oil or grass fed butter
1 banana
1 scoop of chocolate protein powder
1 tsp coffee extract
Blend your ass off

I'm sure you can pour 8oz of coffee into the smoothie instead of the coconut water and water and skip the coffee extract.  I bet that would make it taste like iced coffee too.  You can also skip the banana if that makes the smoothie to heavy, you don't like bananas, or are watching carbs.  I top mine off with a few raw cacao nibs.  Nibs are delicious little devils.  They are pieces of the cacao beans that would eventually be ground into cocoa powder.  I love these bitches.  Chocolate makes life a little more amazing.

Have a bullet proof day!!!
xoxo
J

Help, I'm stuck!

Sometimes right before we are inspired to mobilize and take action in our lives, we are faced with this feeling of being stuck.  This can often come with feelings of stagnation, hopelessness, irritation, guilt, fear, and sadness.  The even more confusing part of "stuckness" comes when these dragalicious feelings are accompanied with ideas of change, excitement for the future, thrill, and adventure.  It can be very confusing and emotionally exhausting. 

I think the turmoil before the decision to "unstick" yourself is the hardest part.  Sometimes instead of feeling like you are moving upward, it feels as though you are moving side to side.  Waffling, going back and forth, weighing the options.  The funny part is, usually, internally you know what is best for you, but the stuckness usually comes from protecting others, protecting yourself from the unknown, and trying to live by standards other people set for you. 

What is right?  Living a life feeling stuck in order to please others?  Sacrificing yourself and playing the martyr?  Are these things really, truly healthy for your psyche and the psyche of those whom you truly care?  Those are questions you have to answer for yourself.  Another difficult aspect of this is that although we are taught that self-sacrificing is this beautiful, amazing thing, we are also given the confusing message that if you are not happy and in love with your self, you cannot be in love and happy with others.  It can lead to very conflicting feelings which force you to examine who you are and who you need to become and the balance of the two. 

The beautiful part of all of this is that we have choices.  Every time you feel stuck or the victim of a situation you created or another person's choices or actions- you decide your reaction.  You decide the way you think about given situations.  You can move at any point when the time is right for you. 

Stuck is a feeling. 
It is not a reality.
And at any given moment, you can move. 

xoxo
J

Cheezy Ass Mutha Fuckin' Lasagne

This afternoon was heaven- no practicum (fancy doctorate speak for working for free) and no class.  I headed in the house for my favorite past time- cooking.  Man, I have been so busy that I haven't hit up my kitchen for a real food party in what seems like forever!  It was so good to be back.  Cooking is so much fun for me.  I've really missed doing it!!!! 

So I had it in my head that I was going to make grain free lasagna.  I was going to use thinly sliced zucchini for the noodles.  Well, my daughters had other ideas.  The second we walked into the store and headed for the zucchini, the bitching began.  "EWWWWWWW!!!!!!  MAAAAWWWWWMMMMM, I HATE ZUCCHINI.  GROSSSSSSS."  Okay.  Hmmmmmmm....I thought about eggplant.  I could take or leave that.  Then I decided on mushrooms.  The kids love mushrooms.  Okay.  Mushrooms it is.  So here is my lasagna recipe for all of you to recreate.  I do not consider this recipe Paleo or healthy by any means.  It has about 40 pounds of cheese in it, so watch yourself home slice. 

Step One- Put on some Rod Stewart or Kesha
Step Two- Brown 1 to 1 and 1/2 pounds of ground turkey
Step Three- While that is browning, put some Olive Oil in the bottom of your 9x13 inch pan, followed by a layer of mushrooms. 
Step Four- Grate 16 oz of Mozzarella Cheese
Step Five- Pour yourself some wine (or seltzer water for me today)
Step Six- Mix together 15 oz of ricotta cheese and 1/2 c Parmesan or Romano or a blend
Step Seven- When meat has finished browning, add 3/4 of a 25 oz jar of sauce or homemade sauce and mix it together.  I just started buying a brand called Paesana Marinara and I love it!  There isn't any bullshit in it either so it's fabulous.
Step Eight- Spoon the meat and sauce over the mushrooms
Step Nine- Spread a layer of the Ricotta mixture and then top with a layer of mozzarella
Step Ten- Mushrooms
Step Eleven- Meat Shit
Step Twelve- Cheesy fucking goodness
Pop this bitch in the oven at 350 for 30 minutes, take it out, and eat the hell out of it!  

Have a fabulous dinner!
xoxo
J